I think sometimes you never realise you need to drop a person from your life until it’s too late. Usually, you’re completely, irrevocably furious with them or they’ve just sucked you dry. Sometimes saying yes to too many people and offering your shoulder to cry on, your bed for them to crash on or your fridge for them to raid can make you feel like there’s no one who actually cares about you. And once you do end up cutting them out of your life you wonder why you never took that self-care step earlier!
That being said, it can be super hard to figure out which of those toxic relationships you need to drop and which you should work on to make better. I mean, these are your friends after all and we can get totally blind to the effect they can have on our wellbeing. So have a read at the toxic relationships you need to drop in your life:
1. The friend who never asks how you are
You know the type. You ask her question after question about her work, her life, her career, her neighbor who lives next door with the noisy barking dog. But she never asks you a single one in return. It starts to feel like you’re interviewing her every time you get together. This is not the sort of friend you need. Drop this one and see if you can’t replace her with one who actually cares about how you are.
2. The friend who is always trying to get you to self-destruct
This person is forever trying to get you to do one (or more) of the following things: break your diet, take drugs, smoke cigarettes again, skip class, blow off work, or a slew of other self-destructive behaviours that you really don’t need in your life. In reality, this friend is angry at the fact that you can hold a steady job, wake up on time, eat healthily and stay on the wagon in terms of cigarettes or drugs. They want you to backslide so they feel better about themselves. You so don’t need this person in your life.
3. The friend who is a literal energy vampire sucking you dry
This friend is always after drama. If they can’t find any they make it themselves. They’re constantly ranting to you about this person or that situation or begging you to help them from some ridiculous circumstance – once you’re out of their company you feel exhausted and literally drained.
4. The friend who is a complete and utter killjoy
I personally can’t stand these people. Everything they look at gets a negative bent. A sunny day becomes ‘a perfect day for melanoma’, a beautiful spread of lunch is ‘what a waste of food, that’s not going to get finished by everyone’. Personally, anyone who complains about food can get out of my life.
5. The ‘friend’ (I use this term lightly) who constantly comments on your weight
You do not, I repeat do not need that sort of friend in your life. Anyone who is commenting on your weight in a negative aspect (and isn’t a personal trainer or dietician who understands your needs and desires in terms of weight intimately) needs to GTFO of your life. It’s so not cool, it’s not nice and to be honest, speaks more about their own perceived inadequacies and fears than yours.
6. The friend who can never stop gossiping
This one’s simple. Because one day they’ll be gossiping about you.
7. The friend who’s always asking for money
Unless they pay you back the next day, lose this person. Feel free to always support your friends physically, emotionally and mentally. But, unless they’re someone you’ve known for decades it’s never really a super smart idea to support them financially. If it ends badly you’ve lost your own hard-earned money and your friend.
8. The friend you wouldn’t trust around your Significant Other
Need I say more? Lose her. Before you lose them.
9. The lover who is always trying to change you
If you need to change for that person to love you then that’s not cool. Unless they want to stop taking hard drugs or gambling your life savings away, they should love you for you, not for some version of yourself who doesn’t buy shoes so often or snorts when laughing. Just be you and the right person will come along.
10. The lover you’re always trying to rescue
It’s a losing battle and you know it.
11. The mansplainer
Forget anyone who wants to give you advice about something they literally no nothing about. Also in this category? Manspreaders who take up way too much room on public transport.
So get ready to say goodbye, and start feeling better!